Entry for September 16th, 2021
Taking care of the family kitty again :)
I've been feeling like a failure recently. I worry about missed opportunities and being a bad friend and being envious of others. I struggle with loneliness. I wanted to make tools for others to be creative, but have so far not been successful. After seven years of failed attempts at getting started, I'm still nowhere near even a novice level of art skill. I feel like a fraud and a failure.
I don't know what to do. I just want to be a good person and do good things for other people, that's all. I want to be creative and give people ways to be creative. I don't know...
"Whew, what a day."
My friend provided an image of their pillow as a drawing prompt, and this is what I came up with.
September 14th, 2021
Been having a lovely time with the game that my friend introduced me too. Here's some screenshots...
Crash-landing in the sand.. Ackpth! Blecth!
Dark beasts flying through the air
I have this song that I came up with a while ago, and this game inspired me a bit to write a slightly different version that I think fits with the ethos of the game. The original song was about two people who are best friends in the realm of dreams but cannot remember each others names to find each other in real life. (No, it's not inspired by Your Name)
take my hand
hold me tight
fly with me under the moonlight
dream with me of what could be
adventure, treasure, mystery
September 13th, 2021
There was a storm that came through.
I had a slow day at work.
I was able to roughly pinpoint the location of three different leaks in the roof.
My friend introduced me to a new game, which was enough to get me to finally dust off my Nintendo Switch for once. It's Sky: Children of the Light and it's adorable. We played it together for most of the evening.
I hope we can keep it up. I love spending time with friends. It makes me a bit worried.... every once in a while I'll catch up with an old friend and talk to them nonstop for a month or few. Inevitably though, things tend to fade away, but I hope that doesn't happen because I am having a blast and it's really added a positive note to my life lately!
(September 12th, 2021)
I had some groceries delivered.
I got eggs and bacon and my favorite kind of popsicle and some frozens and candy and a rotisserie chicken and some popcorn and a few other things.
It's been a little while since this happened, but I felt really, really down due to loneliness.
It's left me feeling kinda of confused and thinking about things like my unproductive attempts to solve the loneliness, if the baseline of my moral character is good or not, what I need vs what I want, and the hows and ifs of how my struggles affect the people around me.
I spent a lot of my time watching movies and doing unproductive things. I did do a little bit of housecleaning here and there but I got tired.
Been talking more with that old friend that I mentioned before. A lot more, haha. It's helped redeem the day, honestly. They even drew something for me and it's adorable! 🤎
(Not sharing the art here because I don't want to expose their identity, but it's super cute and includes my Chocoblight character)
September 11th, 2021
I'm not old enough to really remember 9/11 clearly. I would've been about five years old at the time. But it's still with a heavy heart that I look back.
I've started talking again with an old friend of mine who I hadn't heard from in a really long time. They're really fun to talk to and I've been having a blast chatting with them!
September 10th, 2021
Not much happened today, really. I played some more Minecraft and continued to work on the spreadsheet for The Repository. I've started updating the chest signs to include any changes to the text ID/item name since "The Flattening", which is when Minecraft moved fully away from numeric IDs.
I'm glad for the weekend.
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