Cat Thoughts

It's a commonly known fact that when people keep us as pets, they feed us a dry thing that keeps us alive, but tastes like crap. This is called, "cat food". Obviously, we eat a bit when the humans are around, but when they aren't? Crack open that refrigerator baby.

Anyway, I was absolutely starving and owner hasn't refilled my (cough cough) cat food dish sitting on the floor, and is instead with his buddies, watching the people on the magic wall, called the "Netflicks". Okay. There is a plate with most delicious, spicy, hot wings known to anyone. I wanted in on that action, baby, I needed that. So I jumped onto the chair, and got ready to jump onto the table for a quick hit-and-run mission, when

thump!

Just as I jump off the chair at the table, owner drops something in the other room and I mistime the jump, sending the chair toppling backwards as I fly - yup - into the punchbowl on the table. That stuff is strong, baby, and bright-red and ice-cold. Tastes good, but when you're soaking in the stuff, yuck. The punch swamps the various morsels of food on the table, including the coveted hot wings. The carpet is soaked. I ran off before owner could come after me, and I'm hiding from him as I type this.

Ohhhh man I'm in for it now.

WHAT DO I DO GUYS